We used to live in a cul-de-sac, and I knew just about every kid on the block. We all used to gather in the giant field behind my house and just play whatever games kids played. We used to ride our bikes around the cul-de-sac together and my parents would always have all the doors and windows open, and there was always a cool breeze flowing through the house. I spent my summers at the boys and girls club and I had so many friends there. My mother is a Jehovah’s Witness, and she took me and my sister to church twice a week. I didn’t like going, but I didn’t mind it either.
We moved away from that house when I was 10 to a quiet neighborhood, full of retirees and middle-aged couples with no kids. The doors and windows were always closed with the a/c always turned on. As you can imagine, it was an incredibly isolating and jarring experience for me. I never met our neighbors and there wasn’t anyone for me to hang out with anymore, but it wasn’t too bad as I still had my school friends. My parents became more distant and we stopped going to church. My sister and I were inseparable, we were always there for each other. We had to be, because our parents were so distant. and when she got her boyfriend, I was so jealous because she didn’t seem to have any time for me.
I was 11 years old; life was normal, I was in the summer between 6thgrade and 7th. I was a pretty happy kid and I lived my school, P.M. Wells charter academy. I had a pretty big group of friends, that I had every intention of seeing after the summer was over. That summer, my mother decided to take me out of pm wells and put me into Denn John middle school. I hated the idea of leaving my school, all my friends, and starting completely over. I tried everything to convince her to let me stay at my current school, but she still switched me. My sister moved 2 hours away that year and I was alone with my parents.
My parents started the process of buying a house, and after months of looking, they found the perfect one, and bought it. A month later, their relationship fell apart.
My parents constantly argued throughout my life, but I never paid any attention to it. It was normal to me, and whenever it got to loud for me, I would ride my bike around the block to get away from it all. This all climaxed in 7thgrade, when my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. She kicked him out of the house and he went to live at my sisters’ for a couple weeks. I didn’t see my dad for months, despite my mother telling him to come see me. He only called me, and our conversations were shallow and lasted about a minute. My mom was an emotional wreck and cried in front of me constantly, since I was the only person who was there to comfort her. I tried to talk to my friends about it, but we didn’t have that kind of relationship, so I never got the chance. I pushed the thoughts away and when anyone asked how I was doing, I swore I was fine. I didn’t have emotions, I was only ever “fine”. My mother started going to church again and she made me go with her. For some reason, I hated going to church, but I could not understand why.
My grades started to slip, and I earned two D’s and many more C’s. I didn’t know anything was wrong and just thought I was bad at school. I somehow managed to keep my grades a secret from my mother as she was depressed and not very involved at the time.
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